March 19/12

Evening,
   I hope that you are all doing well this evening. I apologize for not being here for a week; I have been very busy with work still and really haven't had a whole lot of time to myself. The time that I have had, I have spent with Krystle and the kids. So where do we start this evening? How about with an old faithful that I have talked about on here already. Change. How much an anxiety driven person does not like changes. Well, we have a huge change coming our way. Maybe. Krystle is pregnant. Haha, just kidding. We put an offer in on a house this evening. Wow! I am pretty excited about it; I am pretty anxious about it too. But I think that my anxiety is more of the positive kind. In fact, I know that it is. But somewhere in my mind, there is that little voice nagging at me talking about "changes". Hmm...not very enjoyable.
   Now please don't get me wrong, I am truly excited about this change. There has been so many ups and downs with this house hunting thing, that I think that my stress levels are jumping a little crazy for me. Is this it? Is the house? How are they going to respond? Amazing to me. I do feel good, but the normal anxiety is driving me through the roof. We as regular individuals, sometimes thrive on change. Sometimes, we strongly dislike it. I don't think that as a normal person, I am either. Some changes are great, some obviously suck. But as an anxiety driven personality, I am definitely not a fan of change. I like my house even though it is not mine. I like my bedroom, my garage, my bathroom, my t.v room. Even though I have to share all of these spaces with either my wife or my kids, they are still mine. They belong to me.
   Once we move, we will have our own bathroom. Garage will be a little smaller. We would have 2 more bedrooms. And it is in the area that we want to be in. And it is still in Red Deer. Positive changes and negative ones. Or should I really say, not so positive. But the excitement is definitely there. I just realized something else here. Last week, I was talking about losing loved ones. What a major change that is or would be! I also think that that is playing into some of my anxiety. One of my wife's very good friends just lost her significant other last week in a car accident. I did not know him really, really well. I knew him. I knew his kids, but never got the oppurtunity to really spend any good time with him. He was at my house a few times and I at theirs. But did I know him really well? No, I did not.
   That does not change the fact that someone that I DO know really well, is suffering and hurting something fierce. I wish that there was something that I could do for her. Alas, I cannot. I did not even realize that one of my very last posts and this one would tie in until a few seconds ago. So how do we deal with change?? How do you deal with change?? Minor changes are pretty easy to handle I think. At least I feel that they are. Maybe not. I don't recall the last minor change that I or we had. Its those major changes that mess us up a little bit. I think that first and foremost, you must pray to whoever it is that you believe in. I think that you must ask for the strength to go on.
   Secondly, I think that you have to surround yourself with loved ones or at the very least, some really good friends. Thirdly, you have to look at the positives that are going to come out of this. I am unsure of the positives coming from a personal loss; but I am sure that some are out there. Lastly, I think that you have to focus on the future. Focus on where you will be in 1 year or 5 years down the road. You must embrace your changes and accept them for who they are or what they are or will be. I am not sure if this is easier said than done for anyone particular person. It is very easy to sit here and type that. I am sitting up in the press box watching the game from above. Easy for me to coach the players from there. But what about when you are on the ice in that "pressure" situation? Will you follow your own advice? I know that I am sure going to try.