Feb.23/12

Evening All,
   How is everyone this evening? I trust that you are all doing well and enjoying your families this evening. So today I had to go out to the rig that I don't like to go to. Way out in the boonies and no cel phone service. But, today was quite different for me. I actually felt very little anxiety going out there today. I did feel a little twinge on my way there, but it was very slight. I actually almost enjoyed driving out there today also. Almost. So what was different about today for me? Well, I am not sure. The only different in my life at this moment is this new Anxiety book that I have been reading. I am only reading in the second chapter right now, but I think that it is going to be a very helpful book for me. So far there has been quite a few helpful things that I have read.
   One of the things that I have read is very simple. The author has been describing "The Five Faces of Anxiety: Which one is mine?". Something this simple has already made me feel better. Is this book going to cure me? Well, no of course not. There is no cure for this; there is the ability to cope with it much easier though. In the book, I have read into this section that my specific anxiety disorder is actually called a panic disorder. The interesting thing of this that I have read is the author describing the symptoms of each "face" of anxiety. The best part of this is (and I quote): "many people have panic attacks at different times of their lives; and people with other types of anxiety may experience such attacks. The difference is that in other anxiety conditions , episodes are triggered by particular phobias, circumstances or thoughts rather than panic itself." "...people with panic come to fear the "outside world" because their attacks occur there. Whether the danger seems to be death itself; i.e succumbing to a heart attack in a wide open field with no way to phone a doctor or fainting in a crowded movie theater; fear of the panic attack becomes connected to fear of being away from home."
   Holy Crap! What an eye opener that was. And that is only part of what is written. Unbelievable. I thought about that writing quite a bit today on my way out to the rig. Of course, as you read there, there was no cure. Maybe it was just the knowledge that I gained in reading that, that helped to ease my fears a little bit. I don't know. I don't have an answer for you or anyone else. There was also some other stuff that I was thinkning about and it too was eye opening for me. People who suffer from anxiety disorders have trouble losing weight because your body is in a state of confusion. Well, your mind is in a state of confusion which puts the body in that same state. Our bodies register that something is wrong and it needs to store "fats" because it is being told that something is wrong.
   Our flight or fight messages kick in and our biochemistry gets thrown all out of whack. Again, please don't take everything I say here as the gospel. I am just repeating to you what I am getting out of this; maybe I way out in left field. (okay, I am) but it makes a lot of sense to me why I have also struggled with losing my weight that I have gained. The bottom line is that my mind and body are not working in conjunction, but oppositely. Yeah for me!! Anyways, today was a really great day for me and I really liked it. I am still tired this evening and feeling a little taxed as it still tires me out doing that drive and service, but I am here anyways.
   I hope that you all got something out of this this evening. Have a good one.