Feb.9/12

Good Evening to All,
   I'm reading through last nights blog tonight and man, is it ever embarassing to see how the mistakes that a person makes. Maybe not embarassing, but I really pride myself on correct spelling and using the correct word in the wright way. lol I hope you all got that. Anyways, I got an email message via Facebook last night from an old friend who was expressing that she enjoyed reading my blog. She too has or is going through a few things in the last little while. In replying back to her last night, I mentioned for her to use baby steps everyday to overcome things. So, I figured that would segway me into this evening's post. Does everyone remember the movie "What About Bob?"?? If you don't know the movie or have never seen it (stop reading this instant and go and watch it! Classic Movie!!), I reccomend it to all.
   In the movie, Bob (played by Bill Murray) gets told by his psychiatrist to take life and his illness by using baby steps. Bob does so many times. It becomes his mantra. It has also become mine in many instances. When I was first diagnosed with the Anxiety Disorder and in one of my first counselling sessions, the movie "What About Bob?" came into my head and I remembered the whole baby steps things. I decided that even though it was from a movie and even though it is completely and utterly a fictional work; those words actually hold a lot of merit in dealing with any sort of mental illness. Everyday we need to feel like we have accomplished something. But accomplishing something small is also very important. It might seem really insignificant to others, but it could be a huge breakthrough for you.
   Of course, this all has to do with regular life as well. I think that too many times we try to accomplish to much in one day or one week or even a month. So lets use me for an example. I have an anxiety disorder and it is brand new. I am going to counselling sessions and I have figured out what is wrong or what is affecting me. That counsellor is going to ask me what can I do to feel like I am winning this battle. Well, I can talk to friends or family members; I can read some books on anxiety to better understand it and what I am going through; I can start to build up my toolbox etc, etc. Obviously I am not going to accomplish all of this in one day or week. You must break it up. As Bob did in the movie, this is how I have beaten some things.
   In the movie, Bob takes his baby steps by first getting out of bed. Then, he gets dressed. Wow, what a great job Bob! Next, he feels that if he can get to the door, he should be able to get out of the door. Once that is done, he tries going down the hall. He gets down the hall, now he must battle the stairs. Finally reaching the outdoors of the world, he stands in front of the bus for many a minute trying to talk himself onto the bus. After getting on the bus, it just starts to build from there. Do you see how this is done or could be done? I never tried to beat my anxiety or win on the first day. Heck, look back to last year and how I told you that it went for me. Using the drive thru thing I described a few blogs earlier, I couldn't go through one at all. Eventually, I decided that if Krystle was there with me, then I could do it. It was not easy and I am not in any way suggesting that it will be for you.
   But once I made it through that drive thru (albeit, sweating like a pig and VERY unhappy), I wanted to do it again and again. It took me a while, but eventually I was able to go through that drive thru without Krystle being there with me. If this is where you are at and you can accomplish something like this, be damn proud of your success!!! I was. I would call Krystle, my Mom, my sister, my friends and anyone who knew about my anxiety. "Guess what I just did?" "I just went through the drive thru all by myself!!!" If you can take baby steps with your mental illness or even in regular life and see your accomplishments, it will go a long way to helping you overcome or least battle your illness on a day to day basis.