Feb.5/12

Hello to All,
   Did you watch the Super Bowl? What a great game and great win by the Giants. Congrats Giant fans! So my Dad got home right around the beginning of September and I was staying at their house for the week while I was down in Calgary on MWD. My foot hurt pretty bad and I was on crutches for about 2 weeks or so. I got back to Mom and Dad's around 4pm on a weekday(don't remember the exact day), came into the house and Dad gave me a number to phone. He asked me if I had heard of a certain centrifuge company and was I interested in running centrifuges. For those of you who don't know, a dryer is essentially a centrifuge. Clothes stay in the middle, water goes to the outside. A centrifuge takes in drilling mud and pushes all solids out to the sides while sending back "cleaner" mud. Yes, I had heard of these guys and I was supposed to give them a call. I was supposed to call the president as he was a friend of a friend of my Dad's. Hey, its not what you know, its who you know.
   I called them up and the rest is history as far as working for them. They are who I work for now and plan on retiring with. But back to the anxiety. I got hired on with them and started my training on October 17th. I just finished modified work duty around the 10th or 11th and then went down to Calgary to start out. Everything did not start out rosy for me there but nothing to do with them. I went down to Calgary on a Sunday and was really anxious about going down there and staying in a hotel. As I have stated earlier, I have not gotten to 100% until just recently, so I was pretty sketchy going down there. I ended up calling the HR girl and asking if I could stay at my parents house. That was all good and that was where I stayed. I think that that really helped me out in my recovery or recovering.
   After 10 days of training, I was released to head to the field and do some hands on training in Edson. I drove to Edson without a hitch. I rode up in the elevator to my room without a hitch AND I stayed in that hotel without a hitch. I was definitely still anxious and battled through a few times, but I was starting to see the light was getting brighter. There is a song that I have listened to for years by one of my favorite bands of all time and the words to that song really "inspire" me. I don't know if inspire is the right word, but they help me out regardless. The song is called "Gettin Better" by Tesla. It goes like this: "Falling rain, outside my window; but all in all I know, it's Getting Better everyday." "Soon the sun will shine, outside my window; when it's gonna come, you know I really couldn't say." "But I know...it's getting better everyday."
   When is all of this going to get better? You know? I really couldn't say, but I know its gettin better everyday. When is all of this going to end? You know, I really couldn't say. BUT I KNOW its gettin better everyday. These words resonant with me so much and for so much of the time. I must be honest and say that I don't think of these words when the anxiety has overwhelmed me or my day is crap. But when I do think of them, they really strike a chord. No pun intended!! Anyways...I got through my training in Edson and came home for a few days. I started out on my own shortly after that. I worked from around the 8th of November straight through to the 27th of December with no days off. After my days off, I went back to work on January 4th and will not have any days off until break-up(mid March). Life has not been rosy and peachy keen for me everyday. I have battled through my anxiety once or twice a week on average since I have been on my own. Mostly they are minor battles and I have made it through each one. I have been attending my counselling group whenever I can.
   I have been reading my Bible and praying; I have been re-organizing my toolbox by adding or deleting "old files". hehehe. I have not had one good day; I have had many. I have worked through so much with so much support and know that things are getting better and back on track for me. I have led you all to this point so that those of you who did not know I suffered from anxiety would understand my back story and would understand that I am just a regular guy who goes through the same crap everyone else does. From here on in, I am going to keep blogging and I hope and pray that you will all stay with me and continue reading my daily thoughts. But, that is what I will be putting down on paper from now on. Daily thoughts, how I accomplished something or got through something etc. My hope is that for those of you who do not wish to talk about your anxiety or depression or being bi-polar will find something here that can help you out.
   I want to be a beacon for mental health. I want to help others as I have been helped. I want to lead others to "safety" and to a happy place. I want to be there for you. I thank you all so much for reading my blog and supporting me by reading it or even acknowledging it. I hope that I can continue to entertain you all with some helpful advice or a great story. After all, I believe that I am on this earth to help others and make people laugh. Please keep reading...have a good night.